Posts in To live
{To live} Lessons in purpose and gratitude
lessons_tess04

Today I have the pleasure of sharing with you all, a guest post from my sister, Miss Tessa Burr. To say that this girl is wise and an inspiration to many of us would be an understatement. Take some nuggets away from this beautiful piece, dear readers.

In the past year of my life, a lot of things have changed. Some of these changes have been life altering: a break up from a long term relationship, ending University, starting my first job and travelling. I had the amazing opportunity to work at a summer camp in America last year. I also got to travel to New York City and London. Despite these amazing experiences, some of my greatest growth over the last year has come with learning to enjoy my own company, and learning to find joy in the small everyday routine of life. I’m all about personal growth, and self-reflection has become a constant for me. I believe that our thinking shapes our experiences. This thinking has led me to see that if we choose to seek joy in the small things, then we will find it. For me, this kind of outlook on life avoids drama and disappointment, and instead makes me satisfied with the everyday. Who wouldn’t want to be happy and joyous every day?

Society likes to tell us that happiness is obtainable. It’s a goal, and involves a formula. It tells us that in order to be happy; you need to find companionship (number 1). So you aren’t really completely happy without love and affirmation from another person. And it tells us that we need to achieve wealth and success, in the form of materiality- looking good and owning a lot. We spend our life constantly seeking the companionship, more often than not from one main source and in the form of romantic love. We also spend our lives believing that it’s vital to have a lot of money and to achieve a perfect appearance. So we sacrifice our passions and instead, give in to a job that promises security. Security for the few moments when we aren’t working in that job… Or for later when we won’t be able to work. We are constantly in a battle with food or exercise or the purchasing of products to improve our appearance. And then we seek this romantic love often in such desperation, that we miss all the other kinds of love being poured forth around us- A kind colleague at work. A thoughtful sibling. A fun and caring friend. An interesting and polite shop assistant. A quirky kid in our complex.

The problem with this formula is that it is a one size fits all kind of formula. It’s assigned to everyone. The sad thing that I’ve noticed is that we don’t all seem to truly reach this happiness. This is because when we get money or we find this romantic love, it isn’t what we had in mind and it doesn’t happen the same way for everyone. Or perhaps, when it happens, we wonder, "What next?", because we’re still not quite satisfied. We are all on different paths, from different backgrounds. How does it make sense that only a select few should be happy because they fit the mould?

I’ve decided that if you eliminate the idea of an obtainable happiness, and realise that to live in the moment, and to seek gratitude for the everyday, you will discover a greater satisfaction than you could have imagined. It’s quite simple really.

Harmony or contentment comes from right thinking. Not from, say, winning the lottery or losing a lot of weight. Yes, of course these things bring elation and joy! But a permanent joy? A solution? If we were to rationalize our thoughts and train ourselves to look at the everyday, to be curious, interested, present. We might be surprised. This thinking applies to any situation you’re in. Whether you’re single, married, jobless, successful, studying, or travelling.

Good is unfolding all the time and we can never really know what’s around the corner. We are not in control of all things to come. There’s no harm in taking precautions for the future. Saving is always a good idea, and of course being responsible or healthy never hurt. But, what I’ve learnt is that there is very little we have control over. Our lives are made up of moments, moments that are shaped by how we choose to see them.

A thought that I am working on is:

People are not a source of happiness; they are an opportunity to express love.

When we live with this idea in mind, we become helpful, generous, thoughtful, selfless, interested and kind people. We stop expecting things in return and therefore stop feeling hard done by or lost without a bestowal from someone. We become active in spreading love instead of expecting it to be given to us. The tangible becomes the incorporeal. This idea is relevant whether you’re talking to a stranger, or spending time with your best friend. Take your mind off yourself, and tune into how you can better express kindness or interest in someone else.

If we live in the moment, we will find that we have everything we need in that moment. Fear of the future is what threatens our happiness. It suggests lack, loneliness and failure. These suggestions lead to anxiety. They blur your vision, blocking out the beauty right before your eyes. Lack. Lack. Lack. Is all you see. And then you think you need something to fix that lack. And so you plan, and you search.

Something that I’ve started doing, is writing in a gratitude journal. I sometimes only write in it every few months, and I jot down bullet points such as:

  • Grateful for moments with good friends- humour, laughter, closeness, happiness.
  •  Grateful for my job. Reminds me that I’m capable, appreciated and filled with purpose.

As seldom as I write in it, it forces me to reflect on the good. These good days are so rewarding to read back on. Not only do these entries document your life but they remind you how happy you were in that moment. Sometimes it’s harder than others, and sometimes you really need to fine tune your thinking and look for these moments.

Moments.

A long bath. A pretty sunset. A late night chat in the car with an old friend. Reading an interesting book. Reaching a high score on your favourite game. Watching a movie (Really watching, and appreciating the talent in the acting, and the film production). Singing along loudly to a catchy song. Laughing a little too hard at a silly pun. Falling asleep to the sound of rain. Debating on a topic you are passionate about. These are the moments that make up our life. Don’t let them drift by unappreciated, and don’t let society tell you that they’re mundane, insignificant or that you’re missing something. You decide what it is that makes you happy. The world is a beautiful place full of wonderful people and unlimited reasons to be grateful and present in it. It’s all there waiting for us to see it.

Adventure time
CapeTown

I will miss you. On to Edinburgh, London and travel. The unknown, the exciting, the glorious anonymity.

Wanderings, explorations, sites and smells. Cape Town is home, but there are adventures to be had. Check in to see my experiences shared here as I find my way and learn as I go. Onwards and upwards.

{To live} Perspective
Compassion

Yesterday I was reminded of a few things. I was nudged to realise once again that possessions shouldn't own us. It's so easy to become dependent on things these days: phones, bank cards, computers. My handbag was stolen from the back of my chair in a coffee shop yesterday. Someone saw my silly relaxed mistake and took advantage of it. It wasn't fun, but what really affected me was my visit to the police station afterwards. While I waited to fill in the necessary forms, two young girls stood at the back of the room, clearly uncomfortable and seemingly afraid. As the policeman started to shout and swear at them, firing questions, I gathered that they had been caught stealing two bags of sugar. As the tirade continued from other policemen and women, and there was poking and cornering them, one girl began to cry... I felt a deep ache for these two girls. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that stealing is fine and how can these policemen be nasty for nothing. I get it. These cops are tired. They see so much of the same thing that they just take out their frustrations on whoever comes in so that the offenders are scared to try the same crime again. But sugar. Sugar? This country has serious problems in terms of poverty and education,  two of the main factors that lead to crime in my opinion. This isn't a political blog, and I don't want to go into reasons why poverty, children being left to their own devices, crime and lack of education are problems here in South Africa. I also know that we mustn't make excuses for crime. But simply put, what this reminded me, was that I cannot sit and cry over my stolen phone, or the admin entailed in losing a drivers licence and ID, because those two girls had stolen bags of sugar and no one can say that that wasn't out of desperation. Perspective much? I still hope that the gap shrinks, and that one day soon everyone can say how happy they are to see more people with jobs, less living on the street, that they feel safe in their own country. I leave for the UK on Monday to live and work there for a few years and I will miss Cape Town like it's one of my best friends. This incident reminded me that it is essential to remain compassionate and kind no matter what is thrown at us. Heck, let's even try staying positive in spite of it all :) I promise to write something less depressing next time, but wanted to share my little lesson with you all. Have a wonderful rest of your week, everyone.

{Tea & nonsense} Yoga and ego
yoga_ego01

Today,  despite having a pile of work to get through, I dragged myself to gym. When things get hectic and everything you have to do seems overwhelming, that's often the time where relaxation and structure are most important. I tend to let all else fall by the wayside in an effort to "focus" but all that does is leave me feeling frazzled and tired. ANYWHO, speaking of focus. So today's positive moment happened at said yoga class. We were ten minutes in, and I felt stiff and uncomfortable (which is in stark contrast to the relaxing happy place it usually is), when the instructor said. "Yogis! I hope that you all left Ego at the door." She was referring to a couple of women who were doing advanced moves before she had finished taking us through the basic, but what I took from it was that so often we see our bodies as something we need to change, and exercise as the means to that end. However, one of the reasons I love yoga is that it's possible to forget about that scary bikini sitting in your cupboard and relax into the moves, forgetting the outside world and its influences for a while. If you bring ego into it, you lose that calm because then it's back to comparing ourselves to others, smiling proudly to ourselves when we hold a balance longer than the person next to us, wondering how each move is toning the relevant body part. No thanks. If we could just let go of that pesky Ego, how much free-er and happier we would be. (Think Phoebe in f.r.i.e.n.d.s running through Central Park like a crazed spider.) We should try to be mindful, aware of where our thoughts are taking us. Go on, be a better human. Namaste:  The light within me honours the light within you.

yoga_ego02
yoga_ego02

Sources: image 1, Designs: my own. Quote origin: unknown.

{To Inspire} A pep talk

Hello all! Phew... I would like to thank Miss.Rachel Jones over at Black Eiffel for sharing this cute, and super inspiring video. I agree with her on the "much needed" bit... Lately I haven't been feeling very confident or save the world-esque, and sometimes one needs a little reminder to get up and not just keep going, but do something awesome! Thanks Kid President!

 

{To celebrate} Argus time, achievements and cycling

This last weekend was the annual cycle race, The Argus. The biggest timed race in the world, thousands take part, including my dad and sister, oh and Richard Branson this year. I'm always so amazed by the time and training put into that day, everyone facing the heat and wind to cycle 111km. Don't get me wrong, I see the the appeal in being a part of something so huge, the stunning scenery of Cape Town and the feeling of achievement as you cross the finish line. Whilst I don't see myself signing up, it got me thinking about success and what it means to different people. It reminded me that succeeding at anything takes hard work and sometimes sacrifice. We are all capable of achieving whatever it is we set out to if we are willing. I have taken a small step in the right direction by doing a 30 Day Drawing Challenge with a dear friend. Perhaps I'll share some pictures if I'm feeling brave one day :) Back to The Argus, let's celebrate the art of cycling... starting with my awesome sister!

SisterArgus
SisterArgus
ACyclingTown
ACyclingTown
PrettyCycling
PrettyCycling
CyclingPattern
CyclingPattern
FreePeopleJan01
FreePeopleJan01

And in case you're keen.. Here's a link to the 30 Day Drawing Challenge I am doing :) Over and out*